on turning twenty-six

I think it was the SAT where I read a poem about aging that has really stuck with me. The little girl uses buttons in a tin can to symbolize the years of one's life. We collect our years, full of experiences and memories that stay in our "can" all our lives. So even though I may have turned 26 last week, I'm still carrying 25 buttons in my can.

I feel like I aged a lot this year; certainly more so than the year before. So many of my friends dreaded 25. The "quarter-life-crisis." But not me, it was just another year. This year was somehow different. I added many a memory to by button tin, and I can't seem to leave them behind. 

"Trust in God's Timing." This is all I wrote on the first page of my annual journal. I was pregnant, sooner than I'd expected to be, but with a babe I had long prayed for. I worried that V would resent me for cutting her only-child time short, that I'd be too overwhelmed with V to be a good newborn mom again. I wanted to run a marathon, but was put on partial bed-rest earlier that week and less than a month before my half-marathon race. I worried that I couldn't keep little baby inside long enough to survive or thrive. I prayed a lot. Over the next few months, my fears grew tiny and my anxiety disappeared. I grew to truly trust the Lord to carry us through. And He did. Now He is seeing me through PPD, balancing babes, planning to move back to Houston. I never want to leave 25 and all it brought me. I hope to carry it with me.

.....

I am now 26, and it is time to set new goals. My word for the year is steadfast. I want to run 26 miles, my first full marathon. I want to read God's word cover to cover. I want to be rejected 26 times. I want to read 26 books.

Last week I ran a half marathon (whoop!!), I downloaded an app, I agreed to a collaboration (the opposite of a rejection), and I ordered two books. 

Cheers to 26, and keeping up the hard work, the good work.

lily's sixth month

16lb . 15oz . 26.5in

wearing 6mo clothes, size 3 diapers

loves:  nursing, swaddles, her new ring sling, dancing in the excersaucer, rolling wherever she wants to go

hates:  bottles, sleeping in the crib, missing out, her carseat

       Big news - Lily has graduated from being too little and is now in the 75th growth percentiles! She even grew through two sizes of clothes in one week! This means that even though she still wants to nurse every two hours 'round the clock, she doesn't need to. So this month we are trying to get her on a more tolerable sleep schedule. Just by moving her bassinet out of our room (and into our closet so she won't wake up her sister, lol), she has started sleeping in four hour stretches! She is still weary of her crib, the bassinet has become a pretty snug fit that she's grown accustomed to. Hopefully we will have her transitioned out of the swaddle and cradle to her crib soon, but isn't sweet how she loves being held even by her bed? Violet was always a touch-me-not sleeper, so this is new and precious to me. She also still falls asleep in my arms most nights, and I'm hoping that she'll keep her clinginess once she's sleep trained.

Girlfriend is still elusively on the boob, and wants nothing to do with any type of bottle. I think I've actually nursed with her more than I did in 11 months with V. We've literally got seven different brands in our cabinet now, and we were very intentional about training her on them for three weeks. I've got one more trick up my sleeve to try before race-day, but we're taking a break while we focus on sleep.

I've tried a few slings in the past with V and nannied babies, and I never really felt comfortable even if baby liked it. But I got L a ring sling for Christmas since she loved the K'tan so much when she was smaller and still loves being held most of the day. She loves it. It keeps her close enough for skin-to-skin, she can hear my heartbeat, I can move normally (other slings disabled one arm), and she can still face either direction. The B'jorn was perfect for V who needed her space, but the ring sling is perfect for L.

When I can't hold her close, L enjoys jamming in the excersaucer and rolling on and off her mat. She has dance-offs with anyone she makes eye contact with and is getting really strong legs from standing in the bouncer. She rolls and scoots anywhere she needs to go, and I'm wondering if she'll ever feel the need to crawl. She gets stuck under furniture sometimes, but V is always quick to help!

This next month is already full of firsts and fun changes. While month six had it's ups, it also had a lot of challenges. I'm very excited to see what's around the corner!