Hello dear friends! Sorry for the delay in getting this blog posted and in returning messages asking about my appointment this week. I honestly just couldn't handle the stress of talking about my test results - it literally gives me contractions. On Thursday I got a phone call from my PA's cell phone, red flag #1. She told me that my ffn had come back positive, and it felt like a punch to the gut. My appointment had gone so well; I wasn't dilated, my cervix wasn't as soft, and with the exception of one night of really terrible back-wrapping contractions, I had a really great week full of energy and limited discomfort (although I'd failed to mention my drive to clean underneath the fridge or that my colostrum had made a sudden and forceful appearance). But that positive test changed everything. A positive result means that the glue that seals my bag of waters to the inside of my uterus is breaking down, and that even though I'm not dilated, my cervix is no longer completely sealed (or this protein couldn't slip through). It means that there is greater than 50% of a chance that my body will go into true labor within ten days without interventions. And that is scary. Even though the chances of Lily's survival at this point are very high, even though my hospital has an incredible multi-tiered NICU, even though I've had two rounds of steroids to promote her lung, bowel, and brain development, it is so scary to think of bringing a 2.5 lb baby into the world whose eye lids are still fused, whose skin is still so sensitive and thin that touch would cause pain, who could not eat or regulate temperature on her own. My thoughts have been one big fat run-on sentence for the last two days.
So I have been put on complete bed rest. I have a prescription for albuterol that I am to take as soon as any contractions start, and if they still continue I will go to the hospital for a Magnesium IV and monitoring. We are taking every precaution to prevent preterm labor. Bobby will be home with me and V next week, and then my mom and sister will arrive. I asked what exactly bed rest meant, and the first thing she said was "it means childcare, full time." Easier said than done. I think that maybe the spurt of energy I've had over the last two weeks was the nesting bug. Luckily I got our house scrubbed top to bottom during that time, so maybe I can squash that bug and really get some serious rest now that I have to.
To kick off resting, we are taking a little staycation in the city at an AirBnb with a nice pool and zero projects to do. Though I'm totally jealous of my in-laws in Hawaii (Elizabeth, your pictures look AMAZING), I'm so glad we cancelled our trip and stayed back. P.S. I'm using Bobby's laptop for this post since we're out of house, so that is why the formatting is a little off ;)
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